it's hard to express how i'm feeling lately, or how to even make sense of it. i get this unsettling feeling that we're at the end of the rope here - that maybe there is no future, and that the present is all that we have to reckon with. i feel too blind to find any meaning in this that isn't deeply depressing. i feel so sick expressing my pessimism. i feel scared, i can't help it! i feel like this is possibly all there is - the only off ramp is fleeting moments of ignorance. truly one of the most sickening things to feel in the middle of south carolina.
goodbyes, hellos, will we even get to recognize our last? it keeps me up at night! had i only learned to live